Starting a New Chapter

Ahhh! College! The freedom, the people, the parties! All that great stuff that I (at this moment) am not experiencing! But I will in one short week! Right now I am definitely a loner because all of my friends have moved into college and I still have another week before I am off! That’s ok though, when have I ever been known NOT to be busy??

As I said in an earlier blog, my whole point in writing is to show my progress as I learn about becoming me, MissB! Well, college is a great time to get the chance to see who I am. I have been waiting 18 years for this, well maybe we should lower that to at least 17 years considering the first year probably doesn’t count. The point is that this is a big moment in my personal history; maybe eventually a big moment in world history, but then I might be getting ahead of myself….

I have always been the type of girl who needs to have a plan, and let me tell you, that has not been the easiest thing to do the last couple of months! I “kind of know” what to expect when I get there, but the ” ” really stand for “have no clue”! There is a big difference between knowing the schedule of when, where and what, and knowing what to say or how to act. I guess my plan is to just go and put it all out there. My biggest fear is that I don’t want to start off college as someone else, therefore my biggest goal is to be as me as I can be. Whoever “me” is anyway. I guess it’s just one of those situations. You know, where you don’t really understand or know what the right move is until you get there.

I still have one week to figure things out. Seven days to get things straight. One hundred and sixty eight hours to pull it together. But even if I can’t seem to do all of those things in ten thousand and eighty minutes, I pretty sure everything will be alright!

New Chapter here I come!!

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Admitting Fault

No one wants to do it, especially me! Admitting when you’re wrong, or have acted a little out of character, can be one of the hardest things ever. It’s a little ironic that one of my biggest faults is not admitting fault…

I just turned 18, I am going to college and starting a new chapter in my life. I don’t want to admit that I need help, especially when everyone and their mother wants to put their two cents in! Yes, there are things I don’t know, but isn’t that the point of growing up? I’m supposed to be figuring these things out on my own. Right…..?

I have never been one to admit when I need help; I just don’t like that vulnerable state. I don’t know why it is so hard for me to just give in and take some advice. What’s worse than that though, is when you have already started to burn a bridge and you are definitely not what people would call a “skilled architect.”

I can tell you one thing, you do not rebuild by letting the bridge burn to the ground. First you have to put on your sexy firefighter hat and put out the flames. Then you have to take it one brick (or board or steel rod) at a time. Yeah, much easier said than done. And it’s a long process!

Family can be the people closest to you, meaning they fall the furthest when the base comes crashing down. Note to self, make sure you build your bridge over marshmallows or something, maybe that will lessen the impact….

No, I’m sure the real solution to lessening the impact would be to not mess with the bridge in the first place, but come on, didn’t we already talk about how bad I am at admitting fault and not accepting help? I’m thinking I should get to making a pretty durable bridge……