I have, on occasion, been called a difficult person; I’m stubborn and driven and like to be right 100% of the time but things are not always about me, believe it or not, and this blog is not about me being the difficult person it’s about being hurt by that difficulty. It’s about having so much love for a person and that love being pushed to the side not because it is not felt, just not understood.
If you’ve never felt this be thankful and if you have know you are not the only one.
The hardest part is not that the person is difficult to you, it’s that they are difficult to themselves.
It is not that they cannot love you, it is that they cannot love themselves.
Maybe they do not think they can love you enough.
Maybe they do not think they deserve your love.
Maybe they are trying to be strong.
Maybe they are afraid.
What these people don’t think about.. is you. They are focused on what they are or are not capable of and they simply forget that there is another person involved in this equation.
Maybe you have enough love for the both of you.
Maybe you need that person.
Maybe you don’t.
Maybe you do.
In the end maybe you need each other. It’s the balance of the world. I have so much love to give you that maybe it will be just enough for you to love yourself and me too. This is something that you long for; something you dream of; something that clouds your mind more often than you’d like to admit.
Loving a difficult person is not impossible. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is a little less possible… You can put in hours of time and energy and tears but until that person makes the choice to let you in and love you too you will just waste more time and energy and tears.
I have by no means mastered this. I too am a difficult person. Two difficults do not make an easy, but they may be able to make something.
I will keep on loving you at least until you love yourself. You don’t have to be happy with me, I just want to see you happy! And if that makes me a difficult person well… tell me something I don’t know!